A couple years ago, my friend's mother died.  At that point, I had gone off to college and lost communication with her and was unsure if I should show up at the funeral.

But I decide to go.  I figured that if I was in her shoes, an old face could be comforting.  On the hour long drive from Oxford to Lebanon I start talking to God.  I remember just crying and asking the Lord to give me opportunities to share the Gospel and to forgive me for all the times I don't even ask.  (The good thing about death is that it shakes us and reminds us of what really is important).

So I get to the funeral, hug my friend.  Well, hold her really as she breaks in my arms.  (I can't imagine how it would feel to lose a mother). 

I sit alone near the back.  I don't know anyone in the room besides her. 

The service begins and people sink into their seats.  The preacher starts... preaching... and it's good.  I mean, how do you offer hope to a grieving and hurting people except through HOPE in Jesus Christ? 

Seriously.  If Jesus is not God. and did not defeat death. and is not coming back to establish His Kingdom on Earth. and does not promise eternal life to those who believe. then what HOPE do we have?

Anyway.  So, I look across the room at one point and a boy catches my eye.  He's on the edge of his seat, and it is just SO EVIDENT that the Lord is softening his heart and drawing him.

I start praying for the kid.  And God tells me this.  Clear as day. 

"Nicole, do not leave until you tell him these two things:  I hear him and I love him."

And of course I'm like, "Awesome.  This is going to be awkward."

(I had somehow forgotten that on the way there I had asked God for an opportunity...)

So as the funeral wraps up, I pay my respects to Mama P, hug her beautiful, broken daughter and, naturally, I become a mess.  I can't stop crying.  I have snot all over my face, which is really cool. 

I keep trying to "collect myself" so I'm not a blubbering weirdo, but I can't do it.  And I feel this urgency that if I don't tell him NOW, then he's going to leave, and I'm going to miss a great opportunity to be obedient to God.

So I go, "h-h-hey...  c-c-can I talk to you for a minute?"  Ha.  And I remember the look on his face.  Like, "Who they HEYOOOO are you?"

In my head I'm trying to think of a normal-sounding way to say what God told me to say.  (Which doesn't really work).  So I just do exactly what I was supposed to do in the first place and say, "God told me, "Don't let that boy leave until you tell him these two things: that I hear him and that I love him.  So... yeah..."

And he looks at me blankly.  We have an awkward silence for a few seconds.  And then he goes, "What did you say?"

"God hears you and He loves you."

Then this 18 year old boy in baggy khaki pants and white keds (townie style) loses his tough-boy demeanor and breaks down in tears.

"He told you that?  Are you kidding me?  Are you KIDDING me?"

And I'm crying still, and I'm like, "Y-y-yeah... Why do you think I would come say this to you if He didn't tell me that?"

And he just starts shaking his head in disbelief.

"I was sitting there in that seat.  And that preacher was talking about Jesus and how He died for me and how He loves me... And so I start praying and I don't even know how to pray but I try anyway.  And I say, 'God, can you even hear me right now?  Am I talking to the air or can you really hear me?'  And then the preacher starts telling me about how God died because He loved me so much and I say, 'Yeah, that all sounds so good... but God do you love ME?  Do you love ME..."

And I start laugh-crying.  "He DOES hear you!  And He DOES love you!  And He told me to tell you this so you would KNOW and BELIEVE it.  Gahhh how amazing is that?!"

(What a stinkin' amazing God, btw).

And he goes, "What do I do????"

And I say, "Give your life to Him!"

And he goes, "Okay!"

It was, perhaps, one of my favorite moments in life.  And not only did I get to witness and be a part of the Lord touching this boy, but I got touched too.

I remember sitting in my car afterwards, tears streaming down my face, and saying, "You are so REAL.  And You talk to me.  I can HEAR You.  And You choose to use me."  THIS is what I was created for:  the joy of knowing You and telling others that they can too.

You can know Him too, you know.  Let's talk about it.

Update:

So yesterday I was at Margie's when she gets a phone call from CHOP (cincinnati house of prayer) about what God is doing at IHOP (international house of prayer) in Kansas City. 

At about 4:30, I saw the live feed from IHOP's prayer room and it was OVERFLOWING with people.  I heard they had to cancel their university classes, because God was moving so much... People were getting healed.  Delivered.  Filled with joy and laughter...

At 7pm, they had moved the prayer room to a bigger arena so this outpouring of the Spirit could be pastored and addressed.  We ended up canceling my set at CHOP last night b/c God was moving so much through the live feed from KC.

For example, my friend Jodi (i've asked her to send me a testimony) has been struggling with severe anxiety.  So badly that she has nightmares and seizures at night if she doesn't take medication.  And a staff member (who doesn't know Jodi) comes up to her at CHOP and prays, "God, break the spirit of fear off of her in the name of Jesus.  Anxiety you must go now..."  And then she prays for boldness, trust, and peace to come from the Holy Spirit.  Jodi was blown away, in tears, experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit in such a way that she left FEELING and KNOWING that she had been set free.  She even got up on the microphone and sang!  (She has frozen three weeks in a row and left beating herself up). 

I was just standing their laughing and praising God, b/c God is so powerful.  He gives that staff member a word of knowledge and the power, through the Holy Spirit, to set His beloved daughter free - in an instant.

...

So anyway, I'm eager to see what happens today.  If this move of God is a 24 hour thing or if it sustains.  Either way, glory to God for His touches and stirrings. 

IHOP prayed for other ministries like Bill Johnson's school in California, for God to pour out His Spirit there.  Which turned into a half hour prayer meeting at 12:30 in the morning for God to have mercy on California.

And I loved how yesterday was pastored.  They allowed testimonies of God's healing and touches, as it edified the body and gave glory to God.  But ALWAYS they would remind people to give glory to Jesus.  To thank Jesus.  To worship Jesus.  To not lose sight of Jesus. 


Thoughts:

Here's why I get so excited about things like this.  IHOP has been going after God for 10 years, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Praying nonstop.  Worshipping nonstop.  It's phenomenal. 

And Scripture makes it really clear that in the last days God is going to pour out His Spirit.  We will see a Great Harvest of souls.  The church will rise up as that pure and spotless Bride, walking in radical love, obedience, and power.  We will look AS GOOD, IF NOT BETTER than the Church in Acts.  The Bible talks about a great revival and a great falling away. 

This is why I love my job.  By faith, I spend hours before the Lord in prayer and worship.  Growing in my relationship with Him.  Growing in knowledge of Him.  And partnering with Jesus WHO IS INTERCEEDING in Heaven right now as we speak.  I ask the Lord what is on His heart, and I join with Jesus Christ in agreement to these things.

I did not grow up in church.  I had NO framework for anything.  But I know that right after I gave my life to the Lord at age 18, He told me that He was raising me up for a Great Revival.  I didn't even know what that meant.  Seriously, I was clueless. 

And not that I even know exactly what that looks like now, but I'm pressing in and patiently waiting.  My ministry in this season (and, well, forever) will be contending with the Lord for two things:  to purify His Bride and to save the lost.  The Church in America is desperately in need for revival.  We need to be convicted of our sin.  We need a Gospel that demands repentance.  We need to feel and know God's grace.  We need to love God with all our hearts, souls, mind, and strength.  We need more love.  We need to know that the Holy Spirit is real and He is OUR POWER SOURCE.  Everything that God calls us to do, we do through the power of the Holy Spirit.  We need to love our brothers and sisters more than we love John Calvin.  Oh God.  Get our hearts right.  Thank you for breaking me, even now, that my heart would be right before you.

Lord, bring in the lost.  Holy Spirit bring conviction to our colleges, our high schools, and our cities.  Show us the difference between truth and lies.  Life and death.  Let your Gospel go forth with power.  Let us not be ashamed, but make us confident.  Restore the ministry of reconciliation that we have put on the back burner to things like programs and making friends.  Lord you say "one day every tongue will confess You are God," but why not now?  Why not now?  Before the coming judgment on the Earth, bring in Your Harvest now. 

Let us stop being slaves to money.  Let us give and give generously.  Everything that we spend that does not have eternal signficance will be burned up!  Let us help feed our brothers.  Let us fund the preaching of the Gospel.  Let us sow into things that will save souls and build the Kingdom of God and not the kingdom of this world. 

Oh God, if we can't share our wealth now, how will we survive the day that is coming when we cannot buy or sell unless we join with the Antichrist?  If we can't live a fasted lifestyle now, how offended will we be when God allows this world to be shaken and our lives to be stripped? 

Lord, do these things in me NOW.  Heal me, now.  Remove offense from me, now.  Teach me how to pray, now.  Give me revelation in your Word, now.  Let me love you more than anyone or anything, now.  I want to be ready.  I want to be one who helps other people be ready.  I don't want to be shocked or angry or offended or fearful or worried when the greatest persecution to ever come on the earth is released.  I want to be fruitful and bold and full of love.  I want to be like Stephen who looks up and sees the face of Jesus Christ in an open Heaven in the midst of being stoned. 

IHOP-KC Promo from IHOP–KC on Vimeo.

in the past 24 hours i have had some really interesting run-in's with the demonic.  i'm writing about it because i want my partners in ministry to pray, but also i want to give God glory.

last night the Lord had me minister to a high school girl who is a Christian, but who has walked away from Jesus.  she has been involved in some very very dark things... and as a result is living under a bunch of shame and condemnation.  as this girl began confessing some things that she has kept hidden (and is in bondage to), the demonic strongholds in her life started manifesting:  violent trembling, crying, the urge to puke, clawing at her back and chest...

now, i have seen things like this before, but have never had been the one in the position to minister.  and God was just so faithful because i had NO fear.  there was  NO judgment toward this girl, only love... and honestly, much joy because i could see that the Lord was wanting to set her free.

so i hold her hands down as juliana started praying over her, declaring truths of who God is and who this girl is, in Christ.  she tells us that she always sees shadows, has anxiety attacks, hears voices, and feels suffocated.  we tell her that it was a huge step to confess her sin, but if she wants freedom she must repent from how she's been living and refuse to re-open the doors that allowed the demonic to get a foothold in her life in the first place.  after a good 20 minutes of demonic manifestation, we all sense the peace of God just fill the room.  she is silent and still.

we ask her how she feels and she describes it as a peace that she hasn't felt in a long time.  a peace that is sort of uncomfortable because she's used to living in a constant state of anxiety.

the Lord tells me to say that He wants her to pray out loud and talk to Him.  she begins by saying that she feels like a prostitute.  that she feels lost.  dirty... and then she just breaks down and cries out, "i'm sorry!  oh God i'm so sorry!"  and you could just feel a something break in the atmosphere.  then she proceeds to just cry out really passionate and beautiful things to Him.  she's proclaiming Scripture.  she's crying, "God i want you!  i want you!  i want you more than anything in this world!"  she's saying, "give me doves eyes.  make me a pure and spotless bride.  make me one who prepares this generation for your return."  i just cried and laughed.  there was freedom.

pray for her that she doesn't go back to the sin that ensnared her in the first place.  God gave her freedom last night, and she can keep it if she chooses.  pray that she experiences victory NOW so that she can be a voice amongst her generation, setting them free by the power of the Holy Spirit.

... okay.  so then today ...

i just served coffee to a woman and told her, "i like your necklace."  she goes, "thanks, it's an owl.  it's my spirit guide."  i heard walt talk about this in the internship this summer, and how spirit guides are deceptive demonic spirits that control your life.  but i play dumb so she'll stay and have a conversation with me, "what's a spirit guide?"  she goes, "it's kind of like a conscience.  it tells me what to do and what not to do.  it's a voice that is always there for me to turn to for guidance."  then she asked me about my tattoo, which was an open door for me to talk about my faith in Christ.  she said, "very interesting.  maybe we can talk more about this sometime."  pray for her: white chocolate mocha lady.  pray for God to draw her heart towards the light and that the Holy Spirit would begin to give her revelation of who God truly is.

... then immediately after that ...

some jehovah's witnesses come in looking for brittany.  (they stopped in on saturday and dropped of some materials).  we looked through it and it was so frustrating.  so much of it was so theologically accurate, but then it would say something completely heretical.  for example, it was talking about how Jesus Christ was God's son who died for all men's sins (true).  then it would talk about when God created Jesus...  really?  God created Jesus?  (lie). 

and so B and i had a really interesting conversation saturday about why it's important to our faith that Christ is not only "divine" but God Himself.  and it's so silly that satan can confuse people to say, "what's the big deal?  you both believe he died for your sins."  and it's like, "are you kidding me?  if Jesus Christ was CREATED, then He is NOT God.  it is not the same Jesus as Christianity." 

for the record, Jesus Christ is not just our Savior but He is also  King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Creator of Heaven and Earth.  John 1:1 - "In the beginning was the Word (Jesus), and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God."

Jesus IS God. 

so anyway, the jehovah's witnesses came back in looking for her.  i didn't have time to talk to them myself, but i loved on them and prayed as i prepared their drinks that their blind eyes would be open.  they are so close.  yet so far.

i mean for real guys.  you cannot read the Scriptures and deny the times in which we live.  evil is intensifying on this earth.  many are being deceived.  God wake up this generation that we would see you and know you.  that we would be ones who are led by the Spirit of God and not by deceiving Spirits and empty philosophies of man.  pour out your Spirit of discernment that we would know good from evil, life from death.  give us wisdom and revelation.  fill us with your Spirit that we may be ones who boldly and unashamedly proclaim Truth:  Jesus Christ, the true and living God.